hello self
Dear Self,
Thank you for taking efforts in seeking out the One True God. It makes you think about the questionable things you have done in the past. I could still remember some of them. I cringe off the feel of them. Sometimes you look back at those lowest moment, how you wish you could rectify them completely.
Among those things is your virginity. A fundamental characteristic of your existence. Unfortunately, you have wasted it to some random ‘Mark’. Remember how you cry on the dark steps of your boarding house, while telling your mother. Who does that?
I have to give it to you… only four, including your husband. You know it never feels right every time. It has taken you years to realise that.
Yeah? Sexual encounters and lustful actions never pan out into a grandest of feeling. Sin? Yes! Express ticket to hell.
I never take you for a follower of the lustful mediocre. I know now why God have not made you the top pick of the lot. Still, you get those offers until now, like in Coles while smelling like your bed. The guy on the phone? Wrong dial? Just because you message back, you are utterly interested.
Is it the spirits of sexual assaults since you are young that they are attracted to? Worse yet, both in this physical and spiritual world. There are so many entries in your diary. You are aware of them, right? I could not understand it. Why?
Anyway, I should not be asking that anymore. Despite your sad experiences, I am still thankful. All those demonic encounters have led you here… to the One True God.
I would like to perceive it as sanctification or purification. It includes your temporal condition, by the way.
And so, let us… let us do this cielo from the human lot.
⋆⭒˚｡𓆩𓆪 ༘⋆°